Sometimes I just don't know how to intro these things and it makes me really nervous. Because like, beginnings are really important you know? If you don't have a good beginning nobody's gonna want to read the rest of whatever you wrote and it's just too much pressure to have to come up with actual introductions. A helpful rule of thumb for this blog would be to generally skip the first paragraph because mostly it's just embarrassing for me.
There are a lot of things in life that I just can't. Maybe you've heard this phrase watching Girl Code, or maybe you're just hip and picked it up somewhere less mainstream than that, but I think it's a very relevant phrase. It's just like, you just can't even start trying to find words because whatever you 'just can't' is so ridiculous it deserves no words anyway. So I thought I'd share with you children all the things that I 'just can't."
1. Denim on denim. I just can't. There is literally no reason or excuse for ever, EVER, wearing denim on denim.
2. Lorde's boyfriend.
It's not that I don't fully support this relationship or nothin, but I just can't because I don't think I could ever have a conversation with him and not nervous laugh every 4.2 seconds. He's just so uncomfortable looking I can't.
3. Girls with apparent iq's of -23. Like I do not know if you are trying to be this way because you think it's cute, or if you are really that unfortunately stupid, but I can't do you. If you ask me if Alaska is an island one more time I may actually explode.
4. Multiple Instagram posts in a day. There is never an exception to this rule. I can't. I can barely do one post a day from most of you crazies but two it intolerable this is not what America is about I'm sorry.
5. Smart people who won't share their answers. Are you kidding me here? When they're like, "Well I don't know I mean, I worked really hard on this and I just.." hell to the no you can stop right there. I'm dumb and I need help and you're a terrible person if you refuse to let me copy your homework.
6. One time somebody asked me if the pope was the guy who was married to the queen. Do you think I could? NOPE. I COULDN'T. I STILL CAN'T.
7. My mom when she says things like, "did you get any retweets on that Instagram you snap chatted?" I know you weren't raised in this technology era or whatever old people say to make themselves feel less tech illiterate, but I really can't.
You know I really don't wanna end a list with 7 because that's an odd number and I'm pretty sure that's bad luck in some country, but I have Chemistry homework that I need to go do incorrectly.
TIP FOR A GOOD WEEKEND: Avoid angry bears because I feel like that wouldn't work out well, if you like, got in a fight with a bear. Ok Merry Christmas.
