Awkwardly Awkward

Hi there children, how are you today? Today hasn't really been a good day for me, but then I was like, "Bro, stop being sad and go write a blog post for all your cute little friends and then you will feel happy." So that's what I'm doing. (And then I also remembered, hey, at least I'm not Amanda Bynes.)

As you know, (At least I should hope you know...) the name of this blog is Awkwardly Awkward, and if you've ever met me, you know why. But just for some laughs, I am going to revisit as many of my outstandingly awkward moments as I can remember for you today. Swag.

A few weeks ago I was walking in the hall with my friend, approaching a few stairs, and there was this exceptionally cute boy coming up the stairs. So he looks up at us and casually is all like, "Hey guys," and then for some reason, I think it would just be the perfect moment to fall down the stairs. He laughed and walked away. Smooth Jackie.

Another time, I was talking to one of my friends, just having a normal conversation, and then for no reason at all, I just drooled. Like I can't even- what? I'm 15 years old and I can't have a conversation without drooling. So that happened and at first I didn't think he saw, I was just like, "no big, play it coooool," but then he looks at me for a second and was like, "......did you just drool?" Then I ran away.

And I'm just getting started.

I also have this weird habit, where I don't finish sentences. Like, I'll start a sentence, and then just stop and act like I never said anything. Then when people ask me what the end of the sentence was I can't tell them because I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THE END OF THE SENTENCE WAS. I start saying something but then I realize it doesn't make sense or I just don't know what to say, so I stop and hope no one notices. But occasionally they do, and then are like, "Hahah what....?" And then I just nervous laugh until they go away. 

Then there was that one time I wrote "Buckie Jackman" on a homework assignment instead of "Jackie Buckman."

One time this guy called me pretty (don't look so surprised), and I didn't know what to do, so I said Happy Birthday. Happy freaking birthday. 

During Spring Break last year I was in Mexico, and so I go out to the beach and I, for some reason, act like I'm some sort of pro dancer and start ballet leaping all over the place. Right up until my top flew off. 

I don't know if anyone but me has ever noticed this one, but I can't sit or stand like regular people. My posture varies from 'Hunchback of Notre Dame' to 'My spine is a steel pole' and there's no in between, and I always have my hands out in front of me like I'm some sort of meerkat. 

And then there was the one time I was in the grocery store, and I had wandered off and lost my mom. So I'm just wandering the aisles all alone, and then, because my brain has something wrong with it, I decide to start trying to do the jerk. I proceeded to slip and fall on my butt and I hear someone go, "Oh! Are you okay?!" I turn around and there's this little old lady standing behind me, and I resort to my panic solution, to nervous laugh and run away.