Things Parents Say

Demons

Ha, tricked you again. You thought it was gonna be scary but it wasn't. 

Before we begin, IF YOU ARE READING THIS POST BECAUSE YOU ARE BROWSING BLOGS CHECKING OUT WHICH ONE'S YOU'RE GOING TO VOTE FOR IN THE BLOGGING CHALLENGE, I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU'D CONSIDER THIS ONE, NOT BECAUSE IT'S THAT GOOD BUT BECAUSE I NEVER WIN ANYTHING PLEASE I'LL GIVE YOU NO MONEY BECAUSE I'M BROKE BUT IT WOULD MAKE ME EXTREMELY HAPPY SO THANKS.  (Sorry for the caps, but it's important people get the point.)

Things parents say. You can probably relate.

1. Because I said so.

Wow good one mom you really knocked me speechless with that one. Have you ever considered being a lawyer? I'm sure if you just got up there and the judge was like, "Ok why is your client not guilty?" you could just pull one of those, "because I said so," zingers out and SHABAM. The jury would probably all take a gasp and look around at each other, the defendant could just walk out the room and no one even cares cause you really showed them. Good one mom, good one.

2. Watch your tone.

Oh I'm sorry, I wasn't aware ANSWERING YOUR QUESTION was "giving you attitude." And it's not my fault that sometimes I'm sassy, it's just part of being a diva.

3. Stop being so dramatic.

My Mom -   *coughs as if she's a little baby owl sneezing or something* 

My Mom -  "well i guess i have throat cancer did you guys hear that i probably should lay down before i pass out im in so much pain you guys really should be nicer to me i have throat cancer who knows how long i have left i think you need to clean the whole house for me so ill remember you fondly from heaven im dying"

4. I do everything around here.

Excuse me I just came home from school 20 minutes ago to find you taking a nap while I did my homework, walked the dog, and did the dishes. What were you saying again? (I'm not kidding about that either. It's not an unusual thing for me to come home and my mom is taking a nap.)

5. Is your homework done?

Will you buy me a car? Oh we're not asking silly questions we both already know the answer to? My mistake.  

A tip for a swaggy fun weekend: Don't get hit by a car.

Thank you and goodnight New York Citayyyyyyyy. 

*Headbangs my way out of the room playing the air guitar*