Emotional Investment in the Media

Happy Tuesday my lovelies! I hope you're all doing well on this fine day that actually happens to be my fourth least favorite day of the week. (In order from 'wow you make me want to drink a bottle of bleach', to 'let's get married', it goes Monday, Sunday, Thursday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday, Friday.) 

I feel like I've been absent from my blog for a long time and I sincerely apologize for that. We had February Break last week during which I went to Disneyland. The 11 hour car ride to Anaheim is always a bonus as well. *Sarcasm* 

Then we went back to school yesterday and in third period I all of a sudden felt really sick. I proceded to feel like death for the rest of the day which was especially convient since it was also the first day of softball tryouts. And I couldn't figure out what was wrong because I had every symptom known to man. Like I had chills, a fever, a migrane, felt like I was gonna throw up, dizzy, sore throat, cough, etc. Basically one big super illness. I call it the 'Jackie' and as soon as I figure out how to hack into WebMD and add it, the symptoms list will just say, 'everything.' 

Ok wait what was I even writing about again? Like I got so off topic I forgot what this post was even about. Lol at my life. 

Emotional investment in the media. Oh lawd Jesus. How do I even go about explaining myself to you? I care more about what happens in fictional character's lives than I do about what happens in my own. Two shows in particular are Vampire Diaries and Pretty Little Liars. Like, (Yes, I'm aware that I start 98.362% of my sentences with the word 'like', but that's how I talk in real life, so that's how I'm going to talk on the internet.) I don't even have words when I try to talk about them. All I do is make 'uggh' and 'sigh' noises and think that people will just understand. I don't know how they made me get so attached to them. It's a TV show, like, you shouldn't care that much. BUT I DO. I REALLY, REALLY, REALLY DO. 

When I first started watching The Vampire Diaries, I had absolutely no clue what I was about to do to my life. I watched the first episode on Netflix one day just because I was bored and it was both the best and worst thing that's ever happened to me. I don't know what a cocaine addiction is like, but I am 99% sure it's identical to what I have with that show. I watched three full seasons in a time span of five days. Do you know how many episodes are in a season of TVD? Twenty two. And do you know how long each one is? An hour. So twenty two times three is 66. That means 66 hours. Because you can't stop. You think I'm exaggerating but I'm not. You literally can not stop. I swear on my cat's life. (Now you know I'm not joking around cause she's like, my only friend.) 

They get you hooked, and then they think they can just do all these things that they know are going to tear you apart. Like, "Oh you really liked this character huh? Well now we have to kill him." Like, um can you not. 

I made this chart, courtesy of Create A Graph to show you a little bit of my life. 

  Oh and don't even get me started on the whole "Toby-Spencer" situation on PLL. No. 

ADHD Is Contagious

ADHD is contagious

Hello wonderful people that read Jackie’s blog (which if you don’t I feel quite bad for you and your life because it must be pathetic without this blog). 

At this moment in time you are probably thinking to yourself, “if this isn’t Jackie… who is it?!?” 

Well people of the internet, this is Natalie. Now at this moment you are probably racking your brain for the name Natalie, as it probably sounds familiar, but you aren’t coming up with anyone. This name sounds familiar because I was mentioned in a previous post (I actually had one all to myself and it made me quite joyous). 

Okay. Now that I have introduced myself, back to the main purpose of this post.

ADHD is contagious. 

Now whenever I tell people this theory they normally say something along the lines of, “now Natalie… you know ADHD is not contagious right?” and then I end up yelling because I must be right. Always. No questions asked okay? I’m right. DON’T YELL AT ME, OKAY?

Below you will find a list of reasons of why ADHD is contagious….

1.    Never before in my life (before the age of 12 - I may or may not have been a crazy child - and I am currently 14) have I had any symptoms of ADHD… until I met Jackie. 

2.  Have you ever been around someone with ADHD for awhile and then suddenly felt the need to yell squirrel out your window? No? Just me? Well then….

3.   These aren’t going to be reasons anymore… just more like me trying to give myself a valid and believable reason to why I may or may not have ADHD….

4. Since the majority of people I hang out with (which basically includes Jackie and my boyfriend) have ADHD I just feel the need to have it too. 

5.   The other day I was talking to my boyfriend and I just randomly started pointing out things around my school…. Like there was this book titled Alcohol, and this shiny poster, and this guy… his face was nice… shhhhhhh no one read that…

10.   I like the number 10. Its my lucky number. Bet you didn’t know that. 

Okay well since I actually do have a life (I really don’t, I’m just going to watch “How I Met Your Mother”) I am going to end this post, which I hope will make you laugh… even one of those awkward snort things or a small giggle will do… 

GOODBYE INTERNET YOU SHALL SEE ME AGAIN (Jackie and I are going to be famous, so be on the lookout). 

Umm, How About No.

So on a day to day basis, all these things happen that you're just like, "what the actual heck?" And like, there are just those moments where you're like, "umm, how about no." 

I use this phrase a lot, and I made a collection of some instances where the it would be used. 

Oh, you think you're better at whatever it is that we're doing than me? Umm, how about no.

Oh, you think it's socially acceptable to wear socks with sandals? Umm, how about no. ( I really hate that.)

Bananas? Umm, how about no. 

Oh, you want me to get up early enough to put on my makeup at home as opposed to in the school bathroom? Umm, how about no. 

Oh, you wanna just go right ahead and run me over when I'm walking in the hall? Umm, how about no.

Softball is a lesbian sport? Umm, how about no. (Seriously, I'll drop you if you ever tell me that.)

Oh, I should stop screaming because you're right next to me and I'm yelling in your ear? Umm, how about no. 

Oh, you wanna go shopping and then ask me to buy you things? Umm, how about no. (I'm already broke and if I had money I sure wouldn't be spending it on you. Jesus.)

Oh, so you're just gonna dance weirdly in public? Umm, how about no. (That was directed at my Mother.)

Oh, you hate Justin Bieber and he is gay? Umm, how about no. (And how about I cut your head off.)

Oh, you wanna just scratch me and then be cute so I can't yell at you? Umm, how about actually I'm okay with that because you're just so cute and I can't be mean to you. (That one was for my cat.)

Pick Up Lines

Need to know how to pick up that cute guy or gal you have your eye on? Well congratulations it's your lucky day. The love doctor is in and she will see you now. (That's me, I'm the love doctor. Just in case there was any confusion there.)

I've had much practice over the years in the fine art of pick up lines and have come up with quite a few that never fail. 

See? Using these techniques you could have a man like mine in no time!

1. Wow you look like a puppy, and I really like puppies. Wanna make out?

2. If someone was ever going to be able to pull of wearing socks and sandals, it would probably be you. Also, I want your body. 

3. Hello, I'm a magician and I'd like you to help me perform a magic trick. If you'd just close your eyes and count to three, then open them. One....Two.....Three! Oh, what? Where did my clothes go?

4. This one is not actually a pick up line, but you just stand a ways away from the person and continuously wink at them until they come over. 

5. Give me your number or I will kill your family

6. Are you an owl? Because owls are cute and so are you. So, you're probably an owl. 

7.  If I had to be one of the last two people on earth, and I got to chose the other person, I would choose Justin Bieber first, but you're probably like number 28 on my list. So yay.

8. Are you a frying pan? Cause you're hot. 

9.  If you were a homeless cat, I would adopt you because you are really cute and would probably also be cute as a cat. Plus, I would feed you tuna like, all the time. 

10. Someone call 911 because you're hot and I might have a heart attack because I'm not used to being in the proximity of someone of your level of hotness. Meow.

Feel free to use these any time you want and be sure to let me know how amazingly fast and effective these were in getting you a husband or a wife. Meow cats, signing off.